Refinding Humanity by Meditation Teacher Training graduate Tanya Dutton

Note from The Path Founder Dina Kaplan - this is a story I asked recent MTT graduate Tanya Dutton to write after sharing it in class. Her note was so moving I am including it entirely - thank you Tanya for this gorgeous inspiration!

I'm so beyond honored that you brought me to a new life and helped me so much in my road to recovery. I write this with tears flowing down my cheeks because I almost gave up on this class when it was the thing I needed most. You'll never know how grateful I am to you and this beautiful sangha.  With that being said, you asked me to share with you in writing my experience. I've also included two others that happened very recently that I didn't mention. I am in no means a writer so I hope I can get this out appropriately.

I was driving down a busy boulevard where a mentally ill woman was crossing the street. For some reason she decided to walk in the middle of the street against traffic. I noticed she was having a difficult time walking because she didn’t have shoes on, and her feet were terribly swollen. At one point there was a garbage truck and two big rigs with hazard lights on, likely because it wasn't safe for them to drive. I witnessed her approach the trash truck aggressively, as though she was challenging the driver to run her over. Other drivers were cussing and honking at her, not caring that she was clearly not well. I felt so badly for her, I began to slowly follow her in my car until she finally decided to get out of the street and to walk on the sidewalk. I pulled my car up to her and offered her my own shoes, which she gladly accepted. I was happy to offer her a bit of comfort. Soon after, I saw her curl up on the pavement in exhaustion. As fast as I could, I sped home and gathered a sweatshirt, socks, food and juice for her. When I arrived at the place where she had been resting, I was so disappointed that she was not there. I drove around looking for her with no luck. I decided to keep the bag of items in my car for another person who may be in need.

As you know Dina, my family and I were in Texas saying our final goodbyes to my nephew who was transitioning into the spirit world. The day we were heading back we stopped for lunch before we started our long road trip home. On the way, we noticed that traffic had backed up. It turns out an old truck had broken down, with an elderly man behind the wheel. I saw a female off duty officer run to help him. I was getting angry that no one else was rushing to help him. I kept telling my family that I was going to jump out of the car and help myself — and then decided to do exactly that. Granted, I am 55 years old and not in the best shape, but I helped the elderly gentleman push the truck past a busy intersection and towards an uphill commercial driveway. Mind you, I was in the back seat with my 80 year old mother who had just undergone surgery, and my 60 year old brother who has congestive heart failure and has trouble walking was in the passenger seat, and my father who has a bad back was driving. There was no way they could help, but once my father parked the car he did head out to help, regardless of how hurt he could have been. My lungs were on fire, because it was extremely cold and the excessive physical outburst was hard. But I didn't care — I was grateful to help when no healthy person has chosen to come to the older man’s rescue. I was actually a bit disgusted by humanity for a brief time. It’s hard for me to understand how people can lack compassion — it truly boggles my mind.

Finally, about 2 months ago I was in a convenience store. I noticed a young woman, perhaps in her late teens, who had been severely burned. From what I can see her entire face, head, neck and arms were burned. I approached her, and she was startled and jumped back. I believe it may have been her sister with her, and she immediately began preparing for a fight. I quickly apologized and told her, "I just want to tell you that you're beautiful". I saw her and the other girl instantly soften their bodies, and they both looked at me as if they were stunned. I gave them both a huge smile and walked away.

I don't believe any of these things that I did were above and beyond. I believe I treated other humans the way we all need to treat each other. I live with metta as should all humankind. 

Deepest love and adoration,

Tanya